In this chapter of Kris’ narrative on her final days with her mother, former President Corazon Aquino, she talked about telling her mom how much she loved her and of a premonition involving her deceased Dad, Senator Ninoy Aquino.
“If you ask me what my most painful memory was, it was July 8 [Wednesday]. I’m glad I was there with my sister Pinky, because it was the first time mom broke down. It was the first time na umiyak talaga ang mom. Siguro sa tindi ng sakit…sa realization that she’s going to miss us…and it’s so hard.
“It’s so hard to see your mother cry… and to know that you can do nothing.
“I just kept telling her, ‘Mom, I love you so much.’ And she was telling us, ‘Gusto ko nang umuwi.’ And I knew yung ‘umuwi’ didn’t mean umuwi sa bahay, kundi [ang] umuwi siya kay God. And hindi ako umiyak sa harap niya…I swear…I really did not cry. I cried and cried sa bathroom.
“And [then] we called the whole family. They came so we could all reassure mom that we were there.
“It was our [Kris and James] wedding anniversary, July 10 [Friday]. Mom greeted us. She said, ‘Happy wedding anniversary, James and Kris.’
“And she was asking James, ‘Kelan ka aalis?’ Kasi parang she would always tell James -whenever James was saying na pagod na pagod na siya sa double practice – ang sabi niya, ‘You know you’re playing for the country so tiisin mo na lang.’ James told her na July 16 siya aalis for Taiwan.
“So, the routine was from July 13 to 17, I was there the entire time. Dadating sila at aalis ako at 8 pm para mag-SNN [Showbiz News Ngayon]; then babalik ako [sa hospital].
And then Ate told me July 15 [Wednesday], ‘Krissy, go home. Stay ka with James kasi paalis na siya and then [just] come back tomorrow.’ And so I packed for James. Nakapag-ayos ako ng mga gamit.
On July 19 [Sunday], I said in ‘The Buzz’ that I would take a leave. That I didn’t want to leave mom’s side. Naalala ko after ‘Buzz,’ dumaan ulit ako sa supermarket. Namili ako kasi sabi ko, that was my role in the family, ang mag-alaga.
“Yung parang…kasi my sisters - for all of them - being in the hospital was so difficult. But since ilang beses na akong na-co-confine, I really said that I’ll make everyone [feel] as comfortable as possible. I [also] told all of them, ‘Di ako aalis dito until mom leaves.’
“July 20, [Monday]. I didn’t leave from that day onward. Madaming tao [sa ospital] day and night, pero from midnight onward, it was really just us.
“I’d sit by her bed. I brought a small lamp so I could read or makapag-laptop. I try to stay awake till 5 in the morning para kung dadaing o may sasabihin, I’ll be there.
“May pamahiin tayong mga Pilipino na binahagi sa akin ng maraming kaibigan. Bumulong daw. Na kung mahal mo yung taong nakikita mo na nag-su-suffer, have the courage to tell that person that you’re okay; that you’re releasing that person.
“Tuesday, July 21. I was alone and it was about 2 in the morning. With the permission of my sister, ni-time-i-ngan ko na gising ang mom. Nag-rosary muna ako before I talked to her, for courage.
“Mata sa mata, eye to eye, I was able to tell her, ‘Mom, we love you so much. Nag-usap [na] kami lahat. We know that you are fighting this cancer because you love us. And you knew we were not ready.
“I said, ‘Mom, you know, nagi-guilty na kami kasi nakikita namin na nahihirapan ka.’
“And I told her, ‘We all talked about it mom and we can promise you, a-alagaan namin ang isa’t-isa. We’re gonna take care of each other.’
“’But Mom, we’re ready. We’re ready for you to join Dad. Kasi ayaw na namin nakikitang nahihirapan ka.’ And I said, ‘I’m sorry, Mom, nahihirapan ka.’
“I didn’t cry that whole time. And sabi ko kasi sa mga kapatid ko, when I’m talking to mom, hindi ako iiyak. But it was so hard.
“‘Kris don’t worry.’ Sinabi niya na wag na lang ako magalala. She didn’t want me to go on [pretending] because she knew from the way my voice was cracking kung ano yung emotions ko. So, she said, ‘Don’t worry.’
“And all our lives it has been that way with my mom. Kasi people we’re saying, ‘Di mo ba na feel dati na nakakulong ang Dad mo?’ I said ‘No.’ Because mom made it feel so normal.
“When my Dad [was imprisoned], araw-araw - because I would be crying in school - sinusundo niya ako. Every time, my mom had been there. So, yung ‘Don’t worry’ na yon, totoo yon. I don’t have to worry because si mom ang nag-a-asikaso ng lahat. I told my siblings that I was able to say it. The next day [July 23, Wednesday], my sister called and she repeated the same words to mom.
“That day nagkatampuhan kami ni Deo [Edrinal] and Tita Cory [Vidanes, both of ABS-CBN]. I was crying sa bathroom but I never showed mom. I didn’t even tell my sister na nagkaroon ng problema sa work. Talagang nanahimik lang ako. Sabi ko, ba’t ko [pa] da-dagdagan ang problema nila eh eventually, ma-aayos din to.
“It was madaling araw that day. Humiwalay ako for awhile kasi I was drinking coffee. And then the nurses called me.
“They said, ‘Sinasabi po ng mom niyo na…’- at ito ang exact words: ‘I can already see Ninoy.’
“I rushed in. And there was that one small lamp; madilim talaga ang kwarto at nakahiga ang mom. But there was like, a spotlight on mom because she kept looking up.
“And I asked her, ‘Mom…you can see Dad?” And she said, ‘Yes.’”
“And I said, ‘Is he calling you?” She said, ‘Yes.’
“And I said, ‘Mom… kasi Dad is in heaven so he’s calling you to be with him. Does he want to hold your hand?’ She said, ‘Yes’.
“And I said, ‘Mom, go. If Dad is holding your hand, it means gusto ka niyang dalhin sa langit. So, go with Dad.’
“And that was the first time I saw my mom smile again. That aura of peace… noon ko lang siya nakitang ganun.
“So I told them [the rest of the family] what happened. I didn’t leave her [Cory] na until sunrise.
“And the whole time [that she was] beside me, I could hear her say ‘Ninoy’ over and over again.”
Source: http://ph.yahoo.com
Kris Aquino diaries: Her last days with President Cory (Part 2 of 5)
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